Welcome to the fascinating realm of shamanism and sexuality! This article will explore the complex relationship between sex and shamanism. For thousands of years, shamans have explored the spiritual, emotional, and physical realms of human experience. As they have done this, they understand the power of sexuality and its profound impact on the shamanic experience. We will explore how shamanism can help us to embrace our sexuality, use it in a sacred way, and ultimately become empowered and open to the divine mysteries of life. So, let us begin our journey together and learn how to navigate the complex relationship between sex and shamanism.
Shamans and Sex
It is essential to recognize that our attitudes, beliefs, and feelings about any topic pass through the filters of our conditioning. We have all been conditioned by our cultures, upbringing, and history. This is also true for shamans. So shamans in any culture will not be completely free from the norms, beliefs, and attitudes about sex coming from that culture.
One doesn't have to practice shamanism to take a step back and see that the way many cultures treat sex is unhealthy. In the culture and time I grew up in, sex was often called "dirty." It was sinful to be hidden away and not discussed in "polite company."
Girls who liked sex were "slut shamed," and boys were encouraged to "score." to prove their masculinity. This setup is unhealthy for boys and girls and creates a world where sex is competition, with few rules and no winners.
Shamans have a unique perspective on the spiritual aspects of sexuality. In my opinion, this gives shamanic practitioners and teachers, such as myself, a duty to talk about the sacredness of sex. Sexual activity is a healthy expression of nature when empowering and not victimizing.
Sex can also be an incredible tool for healing and magic. Eastern schools, such as those that teach Tantra, understand the power of sexual exergy for spiritual awakening. This is not generally explored in mainstream Western shamanism courses.
In some indigenous shamanic cultures, shamans enter marriages with helping spirits in non-physical reality. They have intercourse and even produce children in the spirit world. This is an ancient, accepted and powerful practice. It speaks to the shaman living in and being an emissary between worlds.
Some students of shamanism experience helping spirits, including power animals, attempting to have sex with them. This can be shocking, especially equating it to the physical world. But this type of union can be an attempt to merge energy, and it is never intended to harm the practitioner. Teachers should be prepared to explain this in a positive way that comforts students.
Sex positivity in shamanism
I am a proponent of sex positivity in spirituality, particularly in shamanism. I believe that sex-positivity moves towards healthier cultural attitudes towards sex, sexuality, and individual expression. But what do I mean by sex-positive?
Being sex-positive means viewing all consensual expressions of sex, sexuality, and gender as valid. You will notice the word consensual here - consent is king.
First, let's talk about expressions of sexuality. Many terms today describe certain types of sexual identity - straight, gay, bisexual, polyamorous, asexual, etc. Many spiritual traditions have ideas about what types of sexual activity, orientation, or expression are OK.
The main issue with Western spirituality's sexual ethics is that they have led to unethical behavior. It seems like the entire planet has a destructive shame complex about sex which has led to things like violence toward others. Many places still exist where being gay can get you killed.
Empirically, being sex-positive is a healthier position. Shame is, by far, the most destructive complex available to us. It tells us we are wrong, broken, or bad for being who we are. It tells us we can't be part of our culture because we don't conform to its norms.
As someone who practices and teaches shamanism, it is ALWAYS my goal to empower the people I work with. I work hard to create a sacred space that accepts each person with loving kindness and makes them feel comfortable being who they are.
Clients and students must also be comfortable talking to me about all their lives. I will talk about sexual ethics next.
A note about gender, gender identity, and gender expression: gender is a social and cultural construct different from biological sex. Cultures treat gender differently, and gender norms change dramatically over time.
Many traditionally shamanic cultures recognize more than two genders - some as many as five. In some cultures, people considered non-binary or transgender in Western society are highly revered as spiritual leaders and artists. Some indigenous people may identify as "two-spirits," reflecting non-binary gender identity.
As a practitioner of shamanism, we must honor diversity. The universe expresses itself in infinite variety, a natural and observable quality of the source or god. Humans are a part of nature; as a species, we are stronger when we embrace diversity.
I promised I'd talk more about consent because all sexual activity MUST be consensual. Sex-positivity does not mean that all activity is a go regardless of consent. Children, animals, and people who are drugged or unconscious cannot consent positively.
Someone came up with an excellent analogy for consent using tea. You may offer someone a cup of tea, and they may say yes or no. You cannot force them to drink tea if they say no. Someone may say yes to a cup of tea but change their mind after you pour them a cup or after they taste it. You cannot force them to finish the tea. You cannot pour tea down the throat of someone inebriated or passed out. Someone who drank your tea previously may only want to drink tea with you sometimes or never again.
Some thoughts about sex-positivity in shamanism:
Respect that humans are a part of and reflect the natural world. The way people identify and express themselves mimics nature's infinite diversity. Embrace this diversity as beautiful.
Sex is natural, powerful, healthy, and part of our spiritual life.
All consensual sexual activity is valid. Consent is king.
Shame is toxic. It is often used to prevent people from acting outside social norms, even when harming nobody else. Love is acceptance and an opposite of shame.
Sexual ethics for shamanic practitioners and teachers
My shamanic teacher always stressed ethical practice, and it is obvious why ethics are so important. Shamanism offers a robust set of tools but, like with all tools, potential misuse exists.
I have read many stories about people having sex with their shamans. There are other stories of people sexually assaulted by unscrupulous shamans under the influence of plant medicine, like ayahuasca. Sexual assault is beyond unethical, but what about consensual sexual encounters?
For me, it's crucial to draw apparent boundaries with my clients and students. This is important for their spiritual and emotional safety and to prevent confusion. It may sound harsh, but I don't socialize with students or clients. This is not because I don't like them; they should apprehend the nature of the relationship.
Even if I were not in a committed relationship, I would not have sex with a client or a student. This is just too risky for them and me. There is a natural power imbalance between a teacher and student and a client and spiritual healer. This is not to say I am better or above anybody else, but I have the knowledge or ability they are coming to me for. There is something they are hoping to get from me. There may be a financial exchange for my time and services, but I do not want them to get confused about the relationship.
I discourage any idolization. I have had a client or two tell me something like they were honored or awed to be in my presence. This is not something I'm comfortable with, and while I appreciate people being courteous, I'm not a guru or object of anybody's worship. I'm a guy who's done some work and learned some things, and I'd instead work with you to show you how powerful you are.
I also know about transference. I am not a therapist but I sit and listen to my clients non-judgementally. This can lead to transference - a projection of inner feelings - sometimes interpreted as romantic feelings. A practitioner should understand this and be prepared to handle it with sensitivity and compassion.
On the rare occasion where a healing ceremony involves physical touch, I always describe precisely what I might do and ask for explicit permission that makes it OK for a client to refuse. For example, I might explain, “In this ceremony, there is a certain point where I usually cup my hand, place it in the center of the client’s chest and blow into it. If you’d prefer, I do it another way; I am happy to.” This hopefully makes the client comfortable enough to say, “I’d feel better if you did it another way,” if that’s how they feel. But informed consent is always at the center of my practice.
Sometimes while working with clients, they can feel a release or surge of energy. I have had a client describe this as sexual energy arising in her. She understood what this was, but we spent some time discussing it. During healing, the energy that passes through the nervous system can sometimes stimulate erogenous zones. This nervous stimulation can cause arousal during a session. It is important not to shame a client for having natural feelings. When you calmly explain what is happening, the client can remain comfortable. Encouraging a client to talk through their feelings allows the emotions to subside naturally. This, in itself, is healing. The client feels protected and heard and, most importantly, no shame.
Shamanic Sexual Healing
Shamanism offers many tools that help work with sexual issues. Shamans recognize that humans are multidimensional - we have a physical body, energy body, soul, body, and spirit - to name a few dimensions. Sex, as anyone who has practiced sex magic or Tantra, can tell you, taps into and reflects every human dimension.
All trauma, including sexual trauma, can cause what shamans call soul loss. This is a fracturing of the soul body - which can result in the parts of us getting "lost." The treatment for this is a ceremony called soul retrieval. Soul retrieval is powerful and has been a critical part of my healing journey.
I have performed soul retrieval for countless clients with a history of sexual trauma. Results can take some time to realize, but the power of the ceremony is evident. One of the things I like about soul retrieval is there is no need to relive the original trauma, and it can work well while someone undergoes traditional trauma-informed therapy.
Beyond trauma, shamanism can help with issues that affect sexuality. Ancestral issues, energy blockages, past life issues, etc., can all come through in our sex lives. Shamanism addresses the spiritual roots of healing, so do not forgo medical or mental health help when warranted.
As a shamanic practitioner, I also recognize that relationships have a spirit. Spiritual healing can be done for couples, families, and even organizations. Couples, or other groups experiencing issues, may seek traditional counseling or sex therapy while seeing a shamanic healer to address the relationship at all levels.
Sex Magic and Shamanism
Sex magic is the use of sexual energy for magic. Let me break this down a bit. Magic is the art and science of changing reality in accordance with the will using non-physical means. Using this definition, activities such as wishing on a star, prayer, and shamanic healing are all magical acts. Sex magic uses the mental and emotional states and energy generated during sexual arousal or orgasm as part of magical acts.
Shamans work in what we call non-ordinary reality. Shamans access these spiritual realms during an altered state called a shamanic journey. A shaman will separate part of their consciousness as an astral body to access these realms, communicate with helping spirits, gather information, and act as healing intermediaries.
Adding sexual energy to these practices can enhance them in many ways. First, the shamanic state of consciousness is a form of Ekstasis - being in an altered state beside oneself. As you might guess, Ekstasis comes from the same Greek word as ecstasy. Sexual arousal and activity can add power to the state. This is not something I've seen taught, but experimentally I can say it is potent.
Sexual energy can be channeled for healing, manifestation, and spiritual awakening. The Tantric schools of Yoga and Buddhism have been doing this for thousands of years. Many of the teachings of these schools have been hidden away for ages - as they might not conform to exoteric cultural norms. The practice of shamanism offers tools for deeper self-exploration and magic.
This is not something I am teaching yet, and I do not use sexual energy with clients. I hope to develop training in this area in the future as I feel it is a necessary but neglected topic.